HOW YOUR EXPERT MATCHMAKER ‘SELLS’ YOU TO OTHERS!
Whatever it is you do for a living, or do to make a buck or two, it will inevitably involve selling your brand (the item), your product, your service or dreams to change the world – no matter what, it is very important you are able to market yourself first! Shannon Davidoff, CEO of a professional and personal matchmaking agency, Perfect Partners, which literally ‘sells people to people’, has the unique task of ‘selling’ her Singleton’s to other likely interested parties, in a discreet and tasteful manner, as your ‘own product’ and apart from the science she needs to apply in the service of actual character/lifestyle profiling and matchmaking, she finds it always aids outcomes if people improve their visual image too, their ‘style’. Many people are not aware of their own attraction factor, or lack of it, or do not have their unique personal brand tagged! Here are her suggestions on how Singletons can up their game when trying to attract lasting attention from the opposite sex.
Your personal style and charisma engenders confidence in the product, YOU, no doubt! Richard Branson IS Virgin! But what personal statement are YOU making about YOUSELF!
What is self-marketing, and why is it important? Self-marketing helps individuals improve their image and reputation to advance their careers and personal objectives, or in a social context, in this case, attracting a life partner. Self-marketing is sometimes called personal branding because it uses branding tools to create an image around a person, rather than a product. We all have many personas, which is YOUR best angle? Do you ‘own’ your image?
The most popular branding tools that people use to brand themselves is social media. Facebook, Twitter and Linked In is the most common tools. And then there are those well documented dating sites. Be honest with yourself. Do you really disclose who you really are on these platforms? The media is flooded with examples of how unsafe these mediums really are. Is this really the best way to market yourself? Even if you do find these platforms successful, how authentically are you representing yourself? Would you be noticed by the type of people you hope to attract? Probably not! How often do you step back and really, critically, look at yourself through the eyes of a new person? What does Joe Public see when summing you up? Shannon assists with helping you create the image you want to present, with a specific goal in mind, and knows what will work the best for you strategically, when she introduces you to new friends. She gets to know you well and can accurately profile you, sometimes with suggestions for some ‘outer’ physical changes too.
Whether you want to promote your brand professionally or personally you need help. As human beings we are often not honest with ourselves when it comes to self-evaluation.
From a professional perspective, there are loads of information out there to assist you with your self-marketing efforts. Some of the key tips in this regard includes:
- Get unbiased help! A Life Coach is often a good place to start. You might not have an honest and objective view of your strengths and weaknesses. Such a person can assist you to accurately portray and develop yourself. Your visual impact is pivotal if you want to attract a love interest, and you need to know what your ‘market’ is looking for also in a mate. You need a strategy!
- You should make self-marketing a habit. It is not something that you should only concentrate on when you are in the market for a new job. You are NOT invisible, you are surrounded by people all the time, but are they ‘seeing’ you? You need to be aware of your ‘packaging’ as it is something that needs constant attention. If you have a ‘presentation’ profile, look at it on a regular basis and update it.
- Network in circles where you want to be seen, meet the new friends Shannon introduces you to, and practice, practice that new style all the time, you never know who is watching!
Why should it be any different when it comes to your personal marketing objectives?
Of course, we all feel good about ourselves, right, because family, friends and colleagues think we are awesome and love us unconditionally….because they KNOW us……..but how to get the same immediate buy-in from a stranger, especially if seeking a mate? The eyes are the first assessment tool – the visual! Beyond 80% of people feel they could shape up and trim down better, whatever, true or not, but the buck doesn’t stop there, so what is your physical impact, your body language, your ‘energy’ field also saying? What is your ‘attitude’ saying? What walls have you put up around you? Are you approachable?
The most frequented place where people go who struggle to meet somebody is online dating sites. Not too different from social media, people sell what they know others want to see. Commonly, neither you, nor the person you are connecting with fit the stated profile completely. Why set yourself up for disappointment or be a disappointment? A matchmaker is your broker in all social situations and can present you from a more accurate angle, after you both ‘identify’ who and how you are.
It is here where Shannon, who is also an Accredited Life Coach, shares her infinite wisdom. She has the most unique job of all – selling PEOPLE, to people!! IMPERFECT PEOPLE AT THAT!! And to very pernickety ones who often have no idea what they actually seek, because they cannot identify ‘what’ they are themselves!! She finds that people are often so blissfully unaware of their own ‘presentation’ that they don’t realise the power of personal attraction! She says that it is not going to fly when others are expected to ‘like me for who I am’ if they cannot recognise WHO you are or are interested enough to want to get to know the YOU in the first place! It is for this reason why “selling one person to another” is so difficult. Most people have not heard about personal branding. How is a stranger going to get to know your awesome character, loving heart and winning ways, if you have not attracted their attention visually, to evoke a desire to even WANT to get to know you!
Shannon finds that the best tool to use for starters is a professional camera ……have that shoot and see yourself through a lens, without gimmicks, as a camera does not lie! Of course, it is unthinkable not to be clean, or smell good and be tidy first! Then imagine how much better you could present yourself – and not just with expensive labels – find a classic style that suits and is comfortable, even making small personal statements. We all have a certain amount of herd mentality – so if any part of that herd is your particular target market, you have to resonate to get the buy-in! (Your whacky, off the planet styles and eclectic tastes can be indulged in your own space, or the comfy clothes and scuffed shoes kept for those places where it does not matter).
Shannon also says it helps to have positive body language, even if a person is a shy introvert, or a pin-up, fake it till you make it! Strangers will soon NOT be strangers once they start to respond to you! Limp handshakes, weak gestures, funny faces, mumbled dialogue, down cast eyes ……don’t hack it! Shannon helps many Singles get their groove back, by helping them identify with the TYPE of others they would want to meet, and then be sure to have a persona that attracts…….she laments that so many matchmakers simply believe ‘this be man, that be lady’ and after a very basic match (or not even) the couple are thrown together to muddle through their attraction factors, common bonds or ‘likemindedness’, often punching in the dark!
It is far more efficient, and logical, to first receive a detailed profile with authentic pics, presented discreetly to a chosen person, and decide then to meet based on “Yes, I like what I see!” or decline, and exit graciously without wasting anybody’s time. Selling people is no different to any other show room …….and there are no ‘testers’ or test drives on purely merit, until someone steps up to look and give it a chance! Mother Theresa was a wonderful woman of great virtue and value, but would a man date her look-a-like?
Generally women are much more forgiving when choosing a man because they do have feminine intuition and can see the good potential of a keeper …..that a good barber and shopping spree can soon fix! But still, good general hygiene, physical posture, charisma and charm, with some style, good communication, can win the day! Hence so many married men look so perfect – thanks to their women! They were hapless bachelors once too! Shannon finishes off by saying it is never too late to change, and re-inventing yourself is very exciting!! Develop your own brand! You want change? Well then, change what you doing!
Shannon’s Company, Perfect Partners, specialize in Single’s lifestyle needs. Adding to her qualifications, she has a great sense of humour and vast tolerance for the human species. For the past 10 years Perfect Partners has not only helped individuals with their self-marketing, but have also connected people to one another in a professional, discreet and confidential environment through personal introductions. She also guarantees complete confidentiality, as no personal details of her members will be shared with any party unless the member requests to meet – and details of her vast database is kept strictly offline, absolutely no internet!